Family Matters

Emily Childers

FAML 460

W07 Persuasive Blog

Shortly after joining social media, and feeling the increased pressure to be in a thinner body, my disordered eating patterns went from bad to dangerous. I worked out for 6+ hours a day. I was constantly dieting. I cut out pictures of “fit bodies” from fitness magazines and put them on vision boards, to imagine my body being better than I thought it was. If I visualized it enough, and worked hard enough, surely I would get my “ideal” body, right? The standards I held my body to were unattainable if I wanted to be healthy with my genetics. So I sacrificed my health, to look "fit." I sacrificed my health, to look "healthy," which was pretty ironic. I started losing my hair. My skin and nails were in terrible condition and the perma-circles under my eyes said everything. I wasn't happy and the worst part was, my relationships suffered. It took several hundred hours of intense therapy to work through the disconnection I had with my own body. I can never get that time back.

I now work with women who are caught in the same lie I once was: The lie that says their body isn't perfect enough. The lie that puts strains on marriages and families and risks major damage to those relationships. The work feels deeply important to me, as I see my thinking and disordered eating patterns were severely damaging to my family unit. These issues, can hurt family relationships, and that is pretty big.

In our society, we receive messages every single day about what we must look like in order to be #winning at life. Social media has taken “keeping up with the Jones's” to a whole new level. It is affecting millions every day and it is not just kids and teens. A surprising number of adults are struggling with self and body image! A recent study conducted by The Dove Global Beauty and Confidence Report analyzed the findings from women aged 10 to 64, from 13 countries around the world. According to these responses, an almost unbelievable 89% of grown women are opting to cancel plans, job interviews or other important engagements simply because of how they look. This was the largest study that the brand has every conducted.

After reading another study by The Journal of Media Psychology, I started thinking about my own favorite television characters during the most difficult point in my body image and disordered eating struggle. Interestingly, all those characters were in bodies much smaller than my own and genetically built very different than my own body. I had created unrealistic expectations of my body. The study examined the relationship between media exposure and early adolescents’ body image. It utilized social comparison theory in conjunction with analyzing favorite television characters. My own experience with placing expectations on my body to look like my favorite TV characters only backed up the study in my mind.

Another study was absolutely fascinating to me as, because it studied the underlying messages in #fitspiration posts on Social Media. Right now, think about the latest social media post you have seen labeled with #fitspiration . What kinds of bodies do you most likely think of? There are a small population of people who really relate to fit bodies. But for most of us, those posts simply ask as a shaming device.

Sometimes, when we feel the pressure of the media, we treat our bodies in ways that don't serve us or the relationships that we care so much about. We do it in the name of fitness or in the name of health. Some of us do it thinking we will find happiness, because that is the message we are sent. But true health is not a size, and happiness is not contingent on our clothing tag number. The HAES Philosophy (Health At Every Size) is what saved my life, as I realized started getting curious what it would be like to experience feeling truly healthy in my body. This meant weight restoration, which was something I had never heard of on social media. I found it interesting that criticism of bodies is so prevalent, while positive body images are few and far between. I got pushback from those around me. People began noticing, and mentioned my weight gain, with the assumption I was becoming less healthy. It amazed me that so many assumed that a smaller body automatically was more healthy than my body after I had gotten to a healthier weight. This is what makes it so difficult, in the context of media and social media. The messages women are sent are usually, “Smaller = healthy” and the messaging for male is predominantly “Larger/more muscles = healthy.

There are better ways to improve your relationship with your body than criticizing and picking it apart in hopes of changing it through shaming it. But sometimes, if that is all we know to do, it is nearly impossible to change those habits overnight. There are three things I teach my coaching clients to help them move toward body acceptance. They are simple, but not necessarily easy. Here they are:

1. Recognize the thoughts in your mind about your body, that no longer serve you. Then choose new thoughts to replace them with. This one might sound easy but it definitely takes practice. It is the equivalent of taking a broken bone, and resetting it. The bone is still broken, and it will take time to heal, but there is a plan of healing.
   “I'm not as skinny as that actress.” ---> “That actress is very beautiful and I am beautiful as well.”
2. Notice what triggering posts or accounts on Social Media that evoke negative thoughts about your body, and eliminate them from your feed. In my mind, this is like creating a safe environment, like a cast, for the broken bone to heal.
3. Recognize that your coping mechanisms (self body shaming, disordered eating) served a purpose at one time and that's okay! But we must assess if those coping mechanisms are working for us long term, and ponder why we want to shift those behaviors, and what value inspires that desire.
4. Clear out your social media feeds of any accounts or posts that trigger negative thoughts about your body. This step is crucial and truly a non-negotiable, if one wants to heal and progress from the negative body image effects from the media.

I learned the hard way, what it takes to combat the negative effects of media on body language. It has taken me years to rebuild a relationship of trust with my body, but it has been one of the most rewarding journeys of my life. I've learned compassion in a body where I deal with chronic health and pain issues, yet, I appreciate my body far more now, than I did before these challenges. I love the knowledge and experiences my body has afforded me. I wouldn't have sought the education I've had, were it not for my history of struggle with distorted body image and disordered eating patterns. Now, movement feels good in my body. Now, eating nourishes my soul. I hope the same for you.